Mojo Monday ~ US! Celebrating the Power of Friendship with Mary Anne Radmacher

I have long admired writer and artist Mary Anne Radmacher.  Her writing and images have been in my life for a very long time.  One of the things I most love about technology is how I have been able to connect more personally with some of the writers I love most.  Mary Anne has a strong positive presence on Facebook and she actually takes the time to connect with people.  I was already familiar with some of her wonderful tales regarding letter exchanges between her and friends from her books.  Through my recent interactions with her though I have had the chance to observe on a more personal level her incredible generosity and her very caring ways, so it came as no surprise when I learned she was releasing a book about friendship called US! Celebrating the Power of Friendship. 

I was then incredibly honored to be contacted by her publisher to see if I would take part in a Mary Ann Radmacher blog tour.  No one had to ask me twice!   There was also the fact that I have been noticing a trend here on my own Red Boa blog, which is that the two most popular and most read posts are on friendship and belonging.  I believe that we humans experience the most joy and deepest sorrows in regards to our relationships.  They are what keep us going, and sadly at times, are what drag us to the depths of grief and loss.  It appears that the topic of friendship is one that draws many to seek advice and answers.  If you are seeking some guidance regarding friendship you have come to the right place.  Here are some words of wisdom from Mary Anne Radmacher herself regarding friendship.  

Special Note - Don't miss the opportunity to win a FREE copy of US! Celebrating the Power of Friendship. See details below!

10 Questions with Mary Anne Radmacher about Friendship and US!

What inspired you to write a book about friendship? Was there a particular friend that kindled the idea?

My friend, Maureen, was a high school senior when I was a sophomore. When she graduated she gave me a book of quotes about friendship. I knew when I finished enjoying those great thoughts that someday I would write a book on friendship. When I was 19 I operated a switchboard for a small college in San Francisco. In the quiet moments, I would work on my friendship book. A teacher who stopped by my desk each day, Professor Sparks, greeted me with an unusual question – “What dream are you working on today?” I easily and quickly replied, “My book on friendship.” Thirty five years later US! CELEBRATING THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP features some of the things I knew and treasured about friendship when I was still a teenager.

Why is friendship important - to women especially?

I first want to say that I believe friendships are very important to men – and I have observed that they deal with it and talk about it (when they talk about it at all) differently than women. Women want to affirm, support, validate what they know to and for each other. Women have an increasingly demanding set of roles to fulfill in our culture, and our friends help us “suit up” for those various tasks. Women friends offer each other support that is both tangible and metaphysical.

Is friendship more important than familial relationships? As important? 

The answer to that question depends on the nature of one’s relationship to family. I was born around the time my parents were celebrating 25 years of marriage. Two of my siblings could have been my parents. The participants in my family structure were either a) tired or b) involved in their own life activities. From early on I learned to create my own “tribe” first from the neighborhood, then school, then peers in my life experiences. My friends, in all practical applications, have been like family to me.

Why do we need to take time out to appreciate our friends? Everyone leads busy lives, and our friends certainly understand that.

The busier I am the more conscious I am of how important it is to stay connected to my friends. It’s too tempting to relegate our friends to the back of the line. When, in fact, our relationships are one of the greatest graces of our lives.

Digital Art by Createwings Designs

What are some easy ways to show our appreciation?

I’m a BIG FAN of the postal service. Sending a fun or meaningful card “just because” is a real tender connection between friends. I use technology to take photos with the short caption, “I saw this and it made me think of you.” I’m encouraging groups of friends to use my US! book as a “scrap book” or to use an older term , “autograph book.” Each member of the circle has a copy and each book gets passed around. Friends write their own thoughts of appreciation on the page that most reminds them of their friend. Combining my words and illustrations with loving words from your own friends – a powerful and memorable combination.


Being cued in to the present and real struggles a friend is facing is important. More than saying, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do,” DOING something practical really shows how much you appreciate your friend. My friend is moving this week. She has a two hour daily commute. AND she has special food needs with a variety of allergies. I made allergy-appropriate lunches for her for a week. I said, “I know when you are moving you don’t even know where your kitchen utensils ARE! I hope this makes making good, healthy choices easier for you this week.” It got a big WOW from my friend.

As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to establish new friendships. Why is that?

Age brings a certain predictability and a whole road of judgments and assessments at our backs. It becomes very easy to judge someone in advance and tell ourselves all the reasons why we likely wouldn’t like this person or that. Also, we’ve had a few friendship failures as we’ve gotten older and might be less inclined to be vulnerable. My dad outlived all his old friends and he told me one of the regrets of his life is that he did not take the time to make new friends. My life is like a shelf on a bookcase. My oldest and my newest friends are the book ends that hold all the other books together!

What are some ways to foster new relationships?

Be open to people who are different than you. Say yes to experience new gatherings and go to events that are a little out of your comfort zone. Listen attentively and observe how you feel listening to this new person. If you are immediately engaged, interested and alert…that might be an excellent basis for exploring the possibility of a friendship. If someone says, “We should talk about that,” or “I’d love to get together sometime and learn about your experiences with_________,” schedule the time. Sometime soon. Listening is an excellent way to foster a new relationship. And it’s also a litmus! If you find yourself endlessly listening with no opportunity to speak, that might be an indicator of a relationship you want NOT to foster. That’s important to pay attention to, as well. Not everyone you meet would make a good friend for you.

If you could plan a perfect night with a friend, or group of friends, what would that be?

I get to have quite a few of those kinds of nights. We share healthy and yummy food, work on some sort of art project and tell each other fabulous stories. Most of them even true!

What is your advice for people who have grown distant from friends, and don't know how to change that?

Reach out. Take the risk and say, “I miss our times of connecting. I thought of you just the other day and remembered the time that we…..” Sometimes just confessing that you’ve noticed some distance has crept in will be a relief – they have likely noticed it, too, and haven’t known what to do, either!

We can't talk about your books without mentioning the artwork. Do your friends inspire you, advise, you or in any way assist you in your creative life?

My friends deliver honest advice and critique when I ask for it and otherwise have an abundant supply of “Ooooooh’s” and “Ahhhhh’s.” That sweet celebration is like the warmest, softest sweater on a chilly afternoon. The finest compliment I get from any of my friends is when they purchase my work and give it as a gift to their other friends. Not only are they supporting my career but they are affirming that what I communicate has functional value to them. That means so much to me. 

Some additional words of wisdom from Mary Anne Radmacher.

Digital Art by Digitreats

Do you have any words of wisdom regarding friendship?  

How do you nurture your friendships?

The words and work of Mary Anne Radmacher have circled the globe on products, quotes in books, been included in speeches, are part of ceremonies from graduation to weddings to memorial services.

Radmacher's words are woven into media from Oprah's Harpo Studio headquarters, commercials, to being quoted in newscasts from the 2011 Tour de France coverage to the evening news with Diane Sawyer. Her signature posters are in board rooms and school rooms, adorn hospital halls and homes around the world (and found at maryanneradmacher.com) and her work is visible from the Clinton Museum Store to gifts store on the corner.

Stay current with her appearances and what writing processes she is guiding at  www.MaryAnneRadmacher.net


You can find US! Celebrating the Power of Friendship here.
Her previous book LIVE WITH INTENTION was also just released as an ebook and can be found here.

Digital Art - Color My World Kit by Kay Miller

Waking Up Full of Awesome

I am thrilled to feature Melissa Wardy and her fabulous blog post called Waking Up Full of Awesome in my column in the Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine. Come be inspired and reminded how awesome you are by clicking here. 

Mojo Monday ~ Quotes on "Now" and "Your Story"

Inspirational Quotes to Consider this Mojo Monday.

Mojo Monday ~ Time

One afternoon after having picked up my twin daughters from school and arriving home I began to shuffle through the piles of paperwork they had in their folders.  Only in kindergarten, each day they usually still come home with a stack of completed worksheets, art, newsletters, homework packets and various event and activity announcements.  Since school started in August we have already sold Ducky Derby tickets, raised donations for a Jog-A-Thon, purchased school t-shirts, put in an advance order for a school yearbook, ordered reading books from Scholastic to raise money for their class, donated snacks a couple of times for the classroom and I’ve gone on two field trips.  I actually love seeing their completed work and “ooh and ahh” over their art and the field trips with my daughters were wonderful.  I wouldn’t have wanted to miss them for anything.  Yet on this one particular day, as I saw requests for parent volunteers for the upcoming Harvest Festival, the sign-up sheet for parent conferences and yet more announcements, I felt like I was either going to cry or hyperventilate. 

In the midst of this new role of kindergarten mommy I still work a 40 hour job Monday through Friday and I still pursue my writing and art interests.  The last two are simply a big part of who I am as a creative person.  There are at times other events that come into play.  The most recent was preparing for my mom’s 70^th birthday party.  It didn’t help that I went through a melancholy state prior to the big event.  Fortunately my creative and artistic sister-in-law sent some much needed inspiration my way and before I knew it I was in full blown creativity mode putting together photo posters, a memory/photo book, and a slide show.  It was all fun and I loved the reason for doing it.  There was however also a moment, much like the hyperventilating/crying episode, where I told my husband in the kitchen, in the midst of the mayhem of a dog, a cat and two very busy and talkative five-year-olds, that I felt more like a human doing than a human being. 

The act of going through loads of family photos to create a memory/photo book also made me take a good long look at the passage of time and how it all flows and moves and spirals along.  There was nostalgia and this thought that in some regards the passage of my mom’s 70 years on this planet went by so quickly. The same goes for my 42 years.  It seems like my five year old daughters were just babies and I do know that, in what may seem like just a blink of an eye, they will be teenagers and then adults.

Perhaps it was divine intervention or synchronicity working its magic, but I happened to receive a newsletter from a Buddhist publication called Tricycle Magazine.  Honestly I get so many emails that some days I just go through and delete anything that isn’t from a human being I actually know.  This time I happened to take the time to peruse the newsletter and a book by Lama Surya Das called Buddha Standard Time: Awakening to the Infinite Possibilities of Now was featured.  The synopsis caught my interest and I ordered a copy.  I felt a little desperate to learn how I might better handle time.

The very day the book arrived I read the introduction that night in bed.  I had to laugh out loud when only on page five the author writes this (note the bold section is my emphasis, not the authors):

“One of the main obstacles to making peace with time is that we tend to experience it linearly: we keep moving forward, doing and accomplishing things, rather than just being.  We are human beings, after all, not human doings.  It costs us dearly to live only on the linear axis of time.  We lose connection with our deeper and most authentic selves, too often mistaking mere movement for purpose and meaning.  We adapt to a fast and faster tempo that keeps us feeling busy, but rarely with a sense of accomplishment.  Staggering forward on a treadmill of events, we gather momentum until we lose any sense of how to stop.  We are expert adapters, but the complexity and speed of our world require something other than merely adapting to its pace.”

In the introduction the author also shares these thoughts to which I found myself shaking my head in agreement:

“Many of us feel that the modern efforts to save time have backfired, bringing onerous new problems of their own. Our technological advances and constant availability have blurred the line between leisure time and work. No sooner do we wrap our minds around a new computer program than it becomes obsolete. We can end up wasting precious minutes stuck on the phone with someone on the other side of the world, trying to figure out how to reset the computer brain in our dryer, or stove, or espresso machine. It takes time to learn how to do online banking, connect with friends on Facebook, master the complexities of smartphones and GPS units, and download a best seller to our e-readers. When Excel crashes and the work is lost after we’ve spent an hour entering data for a deadline, our blood pressure skyrockets. There’s even technology to fix stress created by technology. I recently learned of an experimental Google feature called Email Addict that shuts you out of your inbox, forcing compulsive e-mail checkers to give it a break.

Don’t get me wrong. I think we’re living in an amazing age, as miraculous and futuristic as anything out of Star Trek and Jetsons episodes of my youth. I love being able to talk on my laptop face-to-face with someone on the other side of the world or to download a book or piece of music in a minute. The problem for a lot of us is figuring out how to disconnect from all this intensity for some peace and quiet. And how much of the time-related stress in our lives comes from trying to accommodate every single person who wants a piece of our day? Do you suffer from the “disease to please,” striving to satisfy all those who make a claim on your time? Many of us are torn between the desire to be generous with our time and the need to conserve our own energy. It takes only a few seconds to read a 140-character Twitter message, but the cost of the total distraction lasts far longer. The thinner we spread ourselves, the more we skitter over the surface of our lives, never going deep. And since we can be tracked down just about anywhere, anytime, it seems there is literally no escape.

In the pages that follow, I’ll teach you how to wean yourself from the addictions that sap time and energy, to clear out all the debris and distraction—in much the same way that a snow globe becomes calm and clear when you stop shaking it and allow the flakes to settle. You’ll see, for example, that we can stay at our desks or in a traffic jam and, however momentarily, genuinely give our attention to the present moment as a way of finding inner peace.

I want to show you how to coexist peacefully with the inevitable, the inexorable march of time. As a Buddhist, I’ve long studied the question of how to live authentically and joyfully in the present moment, and how to remain mindful, centered, and harmonious no matter what challenges come my way.”

In my own head I am shouting “Yes! Please show me how to find inner peace and coexist peacefully with time!”

As I’ve delved deeper into the book here are some excerpts I have highlighted and would like to share:

“If we cultivate clarity, detachment, and equanimity, we can learn to remain still and calm amid the torrent of commitments, no longer our over scheduled lives to rob us of the time we need to recalibrate and connect to the natural world, ourselves, and each other.  For time moves on whether we are hurtling through life or savoring it.  The big transformations can take place outside our daily awareness, until a stark reminder catches us up; hearing the new crack in the voice of a teenage son, perhaps, or seeing the unwelcome surprise of a gray hair, or wondering how it ‘suddenly’ became winter.”

“In my lectures, I always advise people to spend some time outdoors every day, even if only taking on e deep breath out of the window or star gazing on their way to their front door…When was the last time you felt the supportive, accepting vital energy of our earthly mother?  Was it when you were a child, lying on your back in the grass?...Nature is the original fountain of knowledge, beauty, sustenance, and spiritual inspiration for all people everywhere,,,And then when you get a chance, go outdoors and find a quiet place to experience that moment of grace.  It is a choice to go through life with a cell phone in your hand. Disconnect yourself from the wondrous gift of our technology often enough to remember that natural wonders have always existed and have always brought solace.”

“Don’t discount the possibility that you are putting unnecessary pressure on yourself…Ask yourself, Will it really change anything if this gets done a little later, or tomorrow?  If not, relax and work out a realistic schedule. IF so, keep going, but intersperse the task with brief exercise, meditations, breath, or phone breaks, and don’t worry that they’re keeping you from your work, because they’re not: they’re enabling you to complete it.”

“One study indicated that in the busiest, most fast-paced modern American cities, people were the least likely to stop in the street and exhibit basic helping behavior, whereas slower-paced cities, such as those in the South and Southwest, exhibited more such altruism.  It’s been theorized that cognition narrows through making haste, and also that as the speed of life increases, ethics becomes a luxury.  As Rumi, the sublime Persian poet and mystic, wrote, ‘Come out of the circle of time and into the circle of love.’”

Creating a sacred space is another suggestion of the authors and he describes his own practice this way.  “For over forty years, I have always kept a little altar or shrine of some sort, made out of furniture, logs, stones, cardboard boxes, crates covered with cloth, or whatever was handy and fitting.  Such a space helps focus my meditation as well as my energies and daily home life.  Now I have a meditations room in my home and I sit there first thing every morning for an hour, and sit there, however briefly, at night too…On the altar, I like to see a peaceful Buddha statue and some flowers or fruit offerings, incense, perhaps a crystal or special mirror to remind me of the timeless, ever-shining innate light of Spirit.  Sometimes, during the day, I just cruise by, wave, and say hi to my teacher’s picture and the icons on the wall – just to cheer myself up.  It’s like putting myself through a little karmic drive-through car wash, and I come out brighter every time.”

In the closing chapter Lama Surya Das shares these thoughts:

“When you make peace with time, and are not hurried and harried, you will find that room mysteriously opens up for new possibilities.  Each moment is a doorway to the divine state of grace.  Patience is a facet of the jewel of love, allowing enough time to create intimacy in relationship rather than experience them as ships passing in the night, which rushing through life is likely to give you instead.  Mental calm, centeredness, and clarity provide a healing, nourishing pause in the frantic activity of our lives.”

Last, but not least, the final chapter closes with the author’s Ten Tips and Pointers for Befriending Time.

1. Rest in the breath while letting go of all thoughts, concerns, plans, worries and preoccupations.
2. Be mindful of the physical sensations you feel right now.
3. Feel the good earth beneath your feet or the seat that cradles you.
4. Chant a mantra or sacred phrase again and again, with pure, undivided concentration and focus.
5. Make eye contact with another being, and feel compassion and loving-kindness for whomever you are with.
6. Smile at someone, hug someone, or help someone.
7. Go outside and make contact with nature through the sky, clouds, trees, a flower, a body of water, the earth between your fingers, or any other manifestation of the magnificent natural world.
8. Read sacred words from the world’s wisdom traditions and scriptures.
9. Take a bread, a sacred pause, an “honorable rest” – whether for Sabbath or just for an hour or two – at least once a week, if not every day.
10. Listen to music, sing, dance, create, pray, and play.

Now breathe, smile, and relax…You have time.

So has the wisdom of the book sunk in yet?  Am I feeling more at peace with time?  Am I likely to hyperventilate any time soon?  The first step I have taken, which is the author’s first recommendation, is to turn to nature for my grounding.  I have always loved nature.  I have always found some peace in just gazing at a scenic natural view.  When life gets busy, even doing this can get cast aside.  There are times like today when I went for a walk through the neighborhood with my daughters.  We marveled at some of the giant leaves lying on the ground.  We stopped and watched some birds at a neighbor’s giant bird feeder.  I pointed out some mushrooms and a gnome almost hidden in another neighbor’s woodsy front yard.  When we returned home the three of us raked leaves in the back yard.  It is cute what can entertain and amuse five year olds.  After creating piles the two of them then had a ball jumping in the leaves.  My heart was happy at watching my daughters enjoy such a simple pleasure.

And sometimes, when time feels more fleeting, I am merely reminding myself to stop, take in the view of the sunrise, or my backyard bathed in the golden light of an autumn evening, or marvel at a gaggle of geese flying above, and simply gaze. 

Just Breathe

 My latest creation ~  a reminder to just Breathe

If that isn't working here is what author and artist Mary Anne Radmacher recommends:

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Mojo Monday ~ Mankind Is No Island

Mojo Monday ~ Freeing Your Spirit and Dancing with Life

A melancholy feeling had overtaken me.  My most recent music mix even took on a slightly gray hue of sadness.  I knew it was bad when spending some time in my artist room playing with paints and glue and glitter could not pull me out of my funk. In fact the funk grew deeper as the art piece I had envisioned and was attempting to create would not come together.  Instead of feeling pleased with the creative process I grew more frustrated because what I was seeing on the canvas was making me feel more mediocre than ever.  My woe-is-me attitude began to spiral into questioning my purpose and bemoaning that I don’t have a local women’s circle.  One way for me to try and short circuit the negative thought patterns is to pick a favorite book to read or take a bath.  Even better yet is to combine the two.  So that is exactly what I did. 

As soon as I was immersed in the hot comforting water I began to read from a well-read copy of Finding Joy: 101 Ways to Free Your Spirit and Dance with Life by Charlotte Davis Kasl, PhD.  My spirit chose well that evening because the short excerpts in this particular book were so perfect for what ailed me. 

There are twelve themes in the book and each one has a multitude of topics within it. The twelve themes are as follows:

1. Discover the Power of Joy
2. Loving Yourself, No Matter What
3. Tapping the Power of Your Mind: A Training Manual for the Brain
4. Lighten Up: Finding Balance in a Crazy World
5. Marvel At Your Amazing Body
6. Reaching Out, Breaking the Rules: Tips for Making Life Easier
7. When You’re Sinking Grab a Life Line
8. Loving Your Body In Spite of It All
9. Loving Children, Discovering Ourselves
10. More years, More Wisdom
11. Dancing with Life
12. Joy to the World

Here are some excerpts for you to explore.

From Discovering the Power of Joy ~ #10 Allow Grief and Other Scary Feelings

One of the barriers to joy is a pent-up grief, sorrow, or anger.  Other barriers are the secrets we keep because we are ashamed.  Burying emotions and keeping secrets is like wrapping a shield around your soul that shuts out the smells of spring, the delicacy of touch, the softness of love.

It’s difficult to feel free and open when we’re congested with buried pain or rage or secrets. Joy flourished when we accept all of who we are.  This includes experiencing our feeling and clearing out guilt and shame by being honest. How can we ever know we are loved if we show only a little part of ourselves to others?...

In my work as a psychologist I frequently see people emotionally constricted by repressed grief and anger.  Over the years they become divided, detached or distant or turn to addictive substances or relationship.  Because the human psyche is a holistic system, to numb one part of our being is to numb the rest and create constant inner struggle.  I have worked with many couples who believe the love between them is gone. Often, after they open up and express their anger, hurt, and frustration, the love starts to return.  It feels like magic, but it’s not magic; it’s the power of our ability to shift to new states of consciousness as we unblock the illusions that come between us and our love…

So when we sob with grief over a loss, cry because we’re hurt, respectfully express our anger and frustrations, or tell our shameful secrets, we are freeing ourselves emotionally and physically, which makes room for joy.  This is a process that takes time.  We need to be gently yet remind ourselves that freedom comes when we stop repressing our feelings and honor the truths of our inner world.

From Tapping the Power of Your Mind ~ #30 Accept Yourself, Remembering and Forgetting.

You get on the path of exercising, saying affirmations, writing regularly, paying the bills on time, not criticizing your partner, and then…yikes!  You revert to old behavior.  You can’t seem to drag yourself out to exercise, you start carping at your partner, you gorge on food, In short, you forget to do all the things that are good for you.

One the path to joy, it is important to accept that we wax and wane like the moon.  We remember, we forget—and it’s all part of the dance.  We push through our fears, get organized, take a risk, then retreat for a while.  After a break, we once again push through inertia, and get going again.

Remember, you never have to do anything perfectly. Four affirmations are better than none.  Walking one a week is better than once a month.  Fresh vegetables three times a week is better than an unmitigated junk food diet…The important thing is to watch yourself play the remembering and forgetting game and be gently at all times.  How you fall of the path is part of the path.  It’s easy to love yourself when you’re winning.  The real test is maintaining that love on the tough days.  So keep remembering (until you forget) that it’s all drama, it’s all a dance, and it’s all okay.

From Reaching Out, Breaking the Rules ~ #48 If It’s Worth Doing , It’s Worth Doing Badly

Many people block themselves from undertaking new endeavors---from learning a language to taking up a sport or music lessons—because they are afraid of being clumsy and mediocre.  I suggest that clumsy and mediocre can be wonderful compared with burying one’s dreams and shrinking one’ life.  It is excellent for the spirit to be a beginner at something.  Being a beginner keeps us humble, helps us understand children, and can bring tremendous pleasure if we stop judging ourselves and just enjoy.  Better to a be a run-of-the-mill piano player than go to the grave regretting you never tried.

From Reaching Out, Breaking the Rules ~ #50 Stay Awake, Stay Aware—Learn from your Struggles

Sometimes we resolve to control a behavior and then find ourselves doing it again.  At 8 am we say we aren’t going to eat sugar and at 10 am we’re munching on a sweet roll.  We tell ourselves we shouldn’t spend more money and three hours later we’re ordering a new dress from a catalogue.  It feels like something driving us that we can’t control, but it’s usually a substitute for a deeper, underlying need. Lonely?  Eat.  Angry?  Seduce someone.  Ashamed of a mistake?  Blame someone.

The stay-awake-stay-aware approach helps you gain insight when you are going against your principles but can’t seem to stop yourself.  The basic principle is that by adding awareness to compulsive or addictive behavior you transform the behavior.

From When You’re Sinking, Grab A Life Line ~  #56. Connect, Connect, Connect

We have talked about feeling overwhelmed or feeling like a child.  Usually when children are upset they need to get rest, be held, be reassured.  There are several types of connections that can help us out of an emotional jam.  We usually need to do one or more of the following:

1)     Connect with feelings.

2)     Connect with another person.

3)     Connect with our spirit.

Connect with feelings.  When you suddenly feel disconnected, scattered, self-abusive, or nasty to others, it can be the result of repressing feelings about an event that recently occurred in your life.  Backtrack to when you first go off course.  Did you not stand up for yourself when you were angry with someone?  Did you feel misunderstood and not tell anyone?  Have you been rationalizing your feelings and need to be honest with yourself?....

Connect with another person.  When we’re in crisis or being hard on ourselves, making a connection with another person can reassure us.  No, we’re not unlovable to the core.  No, we’re no the only one who ever blew it.  Yes, other people care about us even when we get scared or make mistakes.  Talking with another person can bring back perspective on a situation.  The goblins in our mind get bigger in isolation….If you tend to tell yourself you shouldn’t bother people with your troubles or that you should figure it out on your own, you may have to push through shame to call someone.  But on the path toward joy, connecting honestly with another person and sharing your vulnerability is crucial…

Connect with your spirit.  Simply remember, this is drama, it’s not about your worth.  You are sacred, you are life.  You have the capacity for joy no matter how buried it seems at the moment.

When melancholy looms large in your life what do you do?

Did any of the excerpts shared spark something for you? 

Author Charlotte Kasl describer herself this way on her web site: 
"I wear the hat of psychotherapist, author, and teacher, but at my core, I am a peace and social justice activist. I believe the starting place for healing the planet is in our hearts and in the ways we practice respect, empathy, understanding and equality in all human relationships, including our relationship to ourselves." ~ Charlotte Kasl

Charlotte has written a number of books.  One I have already read is called If the Buddha Married: Creating Enduring Relationships on A Spiritual Path. Her newest book that has yet to be released is called If the Buddha Had Kids: Raising Children to Create a More Peaceful World.  It is one I will read once it is released.

Have you read any of Charlotte's books?  If yes, do you recommend any?