Mojo Monday ~ Listening to Your Heart

Listening.

This is my focus this month.  

I am trying to quiet my mind that is known to race, make lists, check off to-do lists, focus on schedules and spiral or spin on a variety of subjects.

I am also attempting to get clearer on what makes my heart sing, what brings me peace, happiness, contentment and joy.  

On May 2nd my listening had me paying close attention to a post by Mary Anne Radmacher, a writer and artist I have long admired and found inspirational.  Here is what she shared on her Facebook page.

"What do you think of those 'training opportunities' that assure they will double, or triple your business activity? Hmmm. Just got a note from Twitter that they want to help me grow my business. So kind. A live stream webinar of experts teaching me how to optimize my twitter feed. Do I want to grow my business? Yes. Yes, I do. Do I want to grow my business applying a formula and rationale that is being taught to and applied by tens of thousands of people? I don't think I do. When I offer something I've made, I tell about it. I show you. If I'm excited or touched or impacted, I tell you that, too. Sometimes I remember to link to twitter. Sometimes I don't. But at least people know when I show up on social media it's because I want to be there. I think formulas are great - and they are formulas because they work. That said, I think I'll stick to my plod-along " marketing formula." What is that? Create fresh + meaningful message + sharing + showing = a business that feels good to me."

This spoke to me when I read it.  I love how her focus is on creating fresh and meaningful messages, sharing and showing, and definitely connecting with other people.  This speaks to me as I explore my own dreams and goals. I tucked this into my bag of inspirational messages for the month.

This is also the month for the chapter called "Listening Woman" in The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams.  Here is how the chapter begins:

Echoes of the Ancestors
Ride the Winds of Change,
Voices of the Creatures
Calling out my name.
Singing spirits on the breeze,
The crashing of waves to shore,
The poundings of Earth Mother's heart
Teach me what to listen for.
In stillness, before dusk and dawn,
Hidden messages are set free.
Like the chants of my people,
Their rhythms speak to me.
My ears can hear this music,
And my heart can understand.
Clan Mother of Tiyoweh,
I am yours to command.
I listen for your whispers
On a course you will chart,
Searching for the still voice
That lives within my heart.

One of my deep loves is to listen to music.  I love to really hear the lyrics and to seek out inspirational messages.  Here are two new songs that are have my heart listening.  The first is called The Heart by a band called Needtobreathe.  The second is the song Love Me by Katy Perry.

Here is the official music video for the song The Heart by Needtobreathe

The Heart
Lyrics by Needtobreathe

Ain't no gift like the present tense
Ain't no love like an old romance
Got'sta make hay when the sun is shinin'
Can't waste time when it comes time to dance

Slammin' this door with a heavy hand
signin' this line like a deed to land
keeping in touch with the windows down
Dreading this night since the rain hit the ground

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

Always tryin to be the one outlaw
Goes where he wants never does get caught
Pushing this line like the Lord ain't comin'
Building this house like they're scared of something else

[Pre Chorus]
Be my winter in this living hell
Be my one last dying wishing well
oh well

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

[Bridge]
Got'sta make hay when the sun is shinin
Can't waste time when it comes time to dance
keeping in touch with the windows down
Dreading this night since the rain hit the ground

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
That piece you can find
That part is the whole
It never lets go

[Chorus]
Long live the heart
Long live the soul
That knows what it wants
No matter how far
How heavy this load
It never lets go

There is no official video for the song Love Me by Katy Perry, but here is a fanmade video that paired the song with a promotional video for Katy Perry's perfume.  

Love Me
Lyrics by Katy Perry

I lost myself in fear of losing you
I wish I didn't do, but I did
I lost my own, my own identity
Forgot that you picked me, for me

But now, I don't negotiate with insecurities
They always seem to get the best of me
I found I had to love myself, the way I want you to

Love me, no more second guessing
No, there's no more questioning
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

Sometimes I wish my skin was a costume
That I could just unzip, and strip
But who I am is who I'm meant to be
And it's who you are in love, in love with
So now, I don't negotiate with insecurities
You're gonna have to take a back seat
I know I have to love myself, the way I want you to

Love me, no more second guessing
No, there's no more questioning
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

No more standing in my own way
Let's get deeper, let's get closer
No more standing in my own way
(I want you to love me)
No more standing in my own way
Let's get deeper, let's get closer
No more standing in my own way
(I want you to love me)

No more second guessing
No, there's no more questioning
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be
No concealing my feelings, or changing seasonally
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

No more second guessing
No, there's no more questioning
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me

This week (or month) carve out some time to listen. 

What catches your attention when you make it a priority?  

Even when reading what jumps out at you when you listen with your heart?

Seek out some new music.  Listen to a new-to-you band.  What do you hear?

Go outside and soak in the sounds of nature.  How do the sounds make you feel?

When a loved one speaks to you really listen and then also try focusing on listening with your heart. Does anything change when you place a focus on it?

Inventing Your Legendary Wings

Come read my latest article called
Inventing Your Legendary Wings
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.

“As I read about the [Grimke] sisters,
I was drawn more and more to Sarah and what she’d overcome.
Before stepping onto the public stage, she experienced
intense longings for a vocation, crushed hopes, betrayal,
unrequited love, loneliness, self-doubt, ostracism, and suffocating silence.
It seemed to me she had invented her wings
not so much in spite of these things, but because of them.”
~ Sue Monk Kidd

black-wings-trees-fly as seen on http://www.layoutsparks.com

Are you Legendary?

Inquiring minds want to know.
Really we do.

Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.

Mojo Monday ~ I Want (p.s. Happy 4th Birthday to Mojo Monday)

I Want. I have not always been really good about expressing what I want.  It is also difficult to express what I want when it effects other people and I start to feel like I am asking something of others.  I tend to be a bit independent in taking care of myself. For example this weekend I really wanted our house to be less messy (our almost 8 year old twins had things and toys strewn and lying about in multiple ares of the house.)  I also wasn't feeling so inclined to do all the picking up and cleaning myself.  It wasn't so easy for me to mention to my hubby on Saturday night that it would be nice if the house could get straightened up.  It is difficult for me to explain to people who seem content in a less than neat house, how residing in chaos can make me physically start to feel all tense.  But my speaking up let my hubby know to be on board with kicking things into gear on Sunday and everyone helped out to make the house more organized and clean again. Ahhhh...soo nice.  Especially because my energy is seriously lagging.  My get up and go went somewhere else and I hadn't found her once I got home from grocery shopping and put everything away this morning.

This idea of contemplating I Want was in part inspired by a post I saw weeks ago by artist and writer Kelly Rae Roberts.  Back on February 5th she shared a very sweet lists of wants in this post.

Dream Big In the Moonlight

(Signed/ Matted Print Available Here)

I made the above with True in mind, (a new little something for his new room in our new house) but I'm inspired to consider my own dreams as of late.........

I want to have a picnic or two. And read a book in the green summer grass.

I want to make a memory book, printing off photos regularly and documenting more of our everyday life. 

I want to stay authentic in business, making choices that continued to be tuned into my vision, mission, truth. 

I want to trust the journey and the abundance that exists at every turn (it's the small things).

I want to go to NYC and wander the streets with John.

I want to walk around my new hood, make new friends, put up a new little library.

I want to have more dinner parties. 

I want to make more collaborative paintings with True. 

I want to make more paintings for kids. 

I want to gather on the coast with new friends, old friends, and eat candy. 

I want to be still. 

Take it all in. 

Celebrate. 

Be grateful. 

I kept this particular post open on my iPhone and I visited it now and again.  There was such a sweetness and simplicity to her wishes that resonated with me. I have been asking myself, what do I want? Here are some of my thoughts.

I want to feel more relaxed.

I want to play with my children and hang with the family more.

I want to have less commitments.

I want less pressure and fewer deadlines.  

I want to spend more time gardening and hanging out in our yards.

I want to cuddle my 17 year old cat Bandito more.

I want to throw the Frisbee for 11 year old Shanti more too.

I want to paint more. 

I want to gently ease back into being in love with my book project.

I want to feel excited about the book and fleshing out a colorful vision for it.

I want more creative time.

I want more quality time with friends, not necessarily more quantity.

I want to say Yes to things that make my heart sing.

I want to say No to things that don't light me up.

I always want to hear great music.

What about you?  What do you want?  Did anything that Kelly Rae or I shared inspire you or resonate with you?

 P.S. May 1st is Mojo Mondays 4th Birthday.  Here is a little something to honor this special day.

May 1st is "The Day of Ironic Insight" according to the book The Secret Language of Birthdays by Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers.  While Mojo Monday is not a person it has had a life of its own for the past 4 years.  It was a bit entertaining to read about the predicted attributes of those born on May 1st, for that is the birthday of Mojo Monday back in 2010.  

Here are some more of the descriptions listed for those born May 1st:

"[They] have a talent for watching what goes on around them and communicating their ideas on what they see to others.  Their capacity to express these observations, which most frequently deal with people, is generally either verbal or written, but rarely both."

"...they also show an active interest in the events of the world around them.  Even the shyest take a stand within the family, business or social group of which they are a member.  Those born on this day are not everyone's cup of tea, nor do they particularly seek to please others.  They are, however, respected for their honesty and though outspoken on issues of importance to them are nonetheless venusian in their love of harmony and beauty."

Mojo Monday ~ Write A Letter to Your Future Self

The following is an e-mail from the past, composed 6 years, 11 months and 23 days ago, on April 18, 2007. It is being delivered from the past through FutureMe.org.  

(It was delivered via email to me on April 10, 2014, my 45th birthday.)

Dear FutureMe,

Happy Birthday Michelle! You are 45 today - wow!

Did you forget about this message? You wrote it 7 years ago. I am sure that a lot has happened in 7 years. I hope that you find yourself in a good and happy place in your life.

At the time of writing this letter you were still feeling some insecurities about some aspects of your life. There were little worries about your marriage. Some hurts and frustrations that you are planning and hoping to work through. Next week you will be meeting with a therapist for the first time in your life. You are nervous about it and also have great hopes. You are hoping that it helps you work through some of your anger and frustration in regards to the relationship with your husband and also with your mother. Oh how cliche that sounds. The archetypal mother-daughter conflicted relationship.

I have had moments of doubt about my marriage making it for the long haul. Sitting here now though and really contemplating the future I see clearly that I want this marriage to work. That is what I envision in my future. I want to know that 7 years from now when I receive this email that my husband will still be by my side. That we will be raising our children together and growing old together. I want our relationship to be solid, loving and fun. I want us to celebrate our 11th wedding anniversary this June together.

Not only have you aged but so has everyone else. Your husband is going to be 52 years old in May. And your twin daughters - wow they will be 8 years old in May. Just thinking about such a passage of time in connection with your loved ones brings tears to your eyes.

There are also the fur-kids to consider. Hopefully both are still with the family. Our furry friends just don't live long enough. The cat will be 17 years old and the dog will be 11. I hope they are still with us. Just thinking of them passing is hard to imagine.

There are also my siblings and my parents. What changes have taken place in our family during this time frame. I know from experience how the unexpected can happen. I've already lost two brothers and a fiance in my past.

Are you still working at the same job? You had a good job back then with a great organization. I also know that you are capable of more. You have a lot of creative talents and you can write. I am hoping that you have moved in the direction of putting your creative talents to work and are making a living in that area. You have entered into the world of digital design recently. You love to play with images. Finding the right combination of writing and design would be perfect.

Here are some of my wishes for you in the future.

I hope that you have learned to be more relaxed. 
I hope that you are more accepting of yourself and your imperfections. 
I hope that you are comfortable with your body. 
I hope that you are having lots of fun in your life. 
I hope that you have a great relationship with your husband. 
I hope that you and your daughters are so very close and love spending time together. 
I hope that your daughters are happy, healthy and loving life. 
I hope that your parents are still alive and that you have a healthy and close relationship with them. 
I hope you are doing things you love professionally. 
I hope that you have a close circle of friends and that you still spend time with them. 
I hope you have found effective ways to take good care of you. 
I hope you have learned to express your needs to others. 
I hope your hair looks good -tee hee. 
I hope you are happy - most of the time.

I was surprised when I received the letter above.  It was nearly 7 years ago when I wrote it and my memory of doing so really didn't come back until I was reading it.  It moved me to tears.  I loved seeing how my focus was on my relationships, my marriage, my children and my family.  

When I wrote the letter my daughters were just about to turn one years old.  They are now seven and will turn eight years old in May. My husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary in June. 

I am still at the same job and just had my 10th anniversary at the end of March.  Yet I have made strides with my art and my writing.  Back in 2007 I hadn't even heard of the Cosmic Cowgirls.  It wasn't until October of 2008 that I attended the Bountiful Conference they put on in Healdsburg, California.  Being a part of this tribe has let to me writing Mojo Monday posts for nearly four years now.  That it turn led to my column in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine which launched in early 2011 and has been going strong for three years.  I have yet to make a living with my writing and art, and I don't know if I will get there, but I will keep on doing what I love.




I am considering writing myself another letter with futureme.org.  I think sending one to myself five years from now on my 50th birthday sounds about right.  When I contemplate what might go into such a letter I realize just how much can happen in five years.  I grow emotional considering my wishes and hopes for what my life will encompass when I am fifty years old.  There is something powerful in stating your hopes and intentions for your future self. 

Will you write yourself a letter?  Would you want to send it a year from now, five years, or maybe ten years or longer?

Share a little bit about what you are hoping and imagining for your future self in the comments.  

Revolutionary Love Stories

Come read my latest article called
Revolutionary Love Stories
in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine

Love. Peace. Equality. Justice.

I am longing for more revolutionary love stories.  I want to hear more good stories about love, peace, equality and justice blossoming on our planet.  I am longing for revolutions that bring about changes to our world in such a way that there is love between all people.  I desire revolutions for peace that spread across all the lands.  I want revolutions of equality between all people, no matter their gender, race, culture, sexual orientation or chosen faith.  It is also time for a revolution of justice; true justice for all. To quote John Lennon, some may say I’m a dreamer, but I do know that I am not the only one.

Image found on deviantart.com by Valentina White

Do my revolutionary ideas and desires about letting love rule seem unreasonable to you?  Do you doubt that we can create a world of love, peace, and equality? What do you think stands in the way of reaching such goals?  

Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.

Mojo Monday ~ Cracks In the Universe

Mother, teach me how to see
The shining lights of stars,
The faces of the Ancestors,
In worlds both near and far.

Show me how to welcome
The visions appearing to me,
Seeing the truth in detail,
Unraveling each mystery.

Walk me through the Dreamtime
Of altered time and space,
That I may share those visions
With every creed and race.

Doorkeeper of all dimensions,
I seek your Medicine ways
Of how to earth my visions,
Seeing truth, inside me, today.

~ Jamie Sams from "Looks Far Woman" chapter
in The 13 Original Clan Mothers

Wings and fins.  They have been appearing in unexpected places lately.  I don't always pay attention to signs or my muse.  I get caught up in the daily routine and my focus starts to narrow in on work and a busy family calendar schedule, which has me jetting off to play volleyball on Monday nights and shuttling my sweet twin daughters to softball practices and games twice a week.  All of this is after eight hours a day of supporting social workers, families and children at a foster-adoption agency.  On many a evening I just want to kick back and do some Netflix streaming with the hubby, in lieu of checking in with the oracles or my muse.  Yet if I stray to0 far from the creative energy within things also start to feel off kilter.  I know that on a soulful level it is important for me to make time for quiet, for reflection and for pondering.  Listening to my intuition and my creative impulses is also key for me to staying in touch with my soul.  It is through my writing, my art and the courses I take, that I am reminded of the deeper meanings to life and also of a spiritual web that connects us all.

There are several things that I turn to to keep me connected to the muse and spirit.  The first is creating the space for writing and creating, be that painting, collaging or some other form of creative outlet.  Fortunately I have writing commitments that require me to write at least three articles each month.  Those commitments can be a taskmaster at times (monkey on my back so to speak) but there can be a gift in discipline and accountability.  There have been months where the written words have flown easily and sweetly from my mind and heart over to the page.  There have also been weeks and months when I have procrastinated and struggled to get the ideas flowing, the stress growing as deadlines loomed over me.  In the end it comes down to making the time and doing it even when it feels like work.  Even when it is hard I still feel drawn like a moth to the flame, to compose words like music on a page into some form of lyrical story.  I am grateful for the results of showing up, even when I don't always feel like it.

Painting, collaging and general ol' creativity is another great love.   That I may go days and weeks without playing in the art room seems mad, but that is the reality from time to time.  If there are extended time frames when I am not playing and creating I now see that this coincides quite regularly with feelings of lethargy, sadness, boredom, general malaise and so on.  Here is where being involved in a journaling class can give me the kick in the ass I need.  Its like my muse has this wicked sense of humor and entices me to sign up for something, even when the practical office manager in me is saying, "But you already have too much to do my dear, how ever can you make the time for this class?  Get real."  Fortunately the muse is very persuasive and manages to lure my inner artist to retrieve the credit card and sign up while the office manager is busy doing taxes or organizing her files.  It is so worth it too, for I have loved, loved, loved, the several Storywalking courses that I have taken with Jenafer Owen.  The current one began on March 1st and is called Storywalking: A Very Daring Tail.  Click here to read more about the intriguing details and take note that the next course begins April 21st.  These courses have forced me to be more in touch with the muse, my intuition, symbolism, signs and creative visions.   

One of the recent activities we were asked to complete in The Daring Tail course involved an Oracle.  If you want to try it out for yourself visit the Oracle here and write down what it has to tell you.  Visit it three times in row, recording each cryptic message.  Then sit with it.  Ponder it.  Look up the true definition of key words.  Be surprised sometimes to learn that words can mean something other than you thought.  After much reflection how have you translated the message of the Oracle?  Let me share my recent communication.

It has grown more obvious to me how, when I am closed off and in task master mode, that I can be oblivious to noticing the nuances of spirit.  When I slow down and open myself to creative spirit the influx of synchronistic images or words can be profound.  In January and February I had felt like I needed a break from any new commitments and had abstained from taking any on-line courses.  I was still in the mode of not taking anything new one, but at the last minute I signed up for The Daring Tail course, which started on March 1st.  

There is a theme regarding mermaids and sea life in this course.  Once I was signed up I had several occasions to note that mermaids and sea life images had been showing up around me for several weeks, but that I had not noticed.  A couple of weeks into the course I also remembered how I had just read the novel The Mermaid Chair by Sue Monk Kidd only a couple weeks prior.  Even in the prior December Storywalking course I was astonished when flipping back a few journal pages to discover the funky mer-creature I had drawn, as well as my companion animal from a guided meditation, which was none other than a while who had a very specific message for me: "We are going to plumb the depths...and swim among the stars."

Lastly, one other way this past year that I have seeked out greater vision and communion with spirit, has been by participating in a personal Vision Quest with a spirit guide.  One of the inspirations for the journey is the book The 13 Original Clan Mothers, by Jamie Sams. Each month I am to read the assigned chapter and create my shield.  My shields took the form of prayer flags and that particular vision came to me the first day I spoke with my spirit guide.  There are also additional monthly assignments to complete.  The journey began last June and will come to a conclusion at the end of my 13th month. I will admit that sometimes I have felt like throwing in the towel. Sometimes I have felt like an imposter.  Sometimes I have questioned if I am doing enough and/or doing it right.  Yet I have committed to the journey and have grown to embrace that it is mine and is not to be compared to the journey of another.  This Vision Quest has also pushed me to reside in a space of greater spiritual reflection.  

Storyteller ~ my first prayer flag from June 2013.

What are some ways that you stay connected to source?

Do you have regular creative practices that
feed your soul and keep you inspired?

Have you ever noticed that if/when you drift away
from doing those things that feed your soul
that you start to feel down, blue and disconnected?

Any words of wisdom about how to keep your soul fire burning bright?

"Looks Far Woman is the Clan Mother who is the 
Guardian of the Fourth Moon Cycle, which falls in April.  
The full spectrum of pastel colors is connected to the 
Clan Mother's cycle, because she carries the 
Medicine of Prophecy, see the truth in all colors.  
She is the Doorkeeper of the Crack in the Universe 
and the Golden Door of Illumination that 
leads to all other dimensions of awareness.  
She stands at the Crack in the Universe 
and safely guides all human spirits taking Dreamtime journeys 
into the other realms and then, back home, 
being present and fully conscious of their bodies.

This Clan Mother is a Seer, an Oracle, a Dreamer, and a visionary.
She teaches us the validity of our impressions, dreams, visions
and feelings as they exist within our inner potential.
Looks Far Woman instructs humankind on how to unravel
the symbols found in psychic impressions.
She shows us how to see the truth in every vision we receive
in the tangible and intangible worlds.
In her wisdom, Looks Far Woman assists every seeker
in finding the seeds of personal and planetary prophecy
that the Great Mystery planted inside all human beings."

~ Jamie Sams from The 13 Original Clan Mothers