Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Can You See Me?

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Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called

Can You See Me

One of the more powerful and moving experiences of my life was at a Cosmic Cowgirl member conference two years ago.  One of our leading members, Carmen Baraka, led us through a beautiful ceremony that involved each of us standing face-to-face with another member, while holding hands and gazing into one another eyes.  The words we then spoke from the heart were “I see you.  You are my sister.”   We then moved down a person and repeated the same actions and words. There was a great deal of emotion in the eyes and voices of each woman, some who may have only met for the first time that weekend.  Yet,  for me in that moment, I felt like we were really seeing past all the exterior masks, that the veils had been lifted, and we were seeing into the very souls of one another.  I felt deeply moved by the experience and wished for all of humanity to connect in that soul to soul way, as it was healing and inspirational.
Click this link Can You See Me or the one above to visit Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine to read the full article.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Mojo Monday ~ Creative Anxiety



anxietygirl
Are you every plagued by creative anxiety? I know that I am at times transformed into Anxiety Woman.  My anxiety levels have grown due to stresses at the day job last year, taking determined steps forward in pursuing the dream of getting published, as well as offering some of my art and photographs for purchase via Fine Art America.
My anxiety can also grow more pronounced if I am struggling with my writing or coming up with the right approach for my monthly article for Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.  If my deadline is looming, or has come and gone, then the anxiety really starts to squeeze me in its grips.  Occasionally I wonder why I continue to put myself through it all, yet I know that creating artistically and writing are two of the key things that feed my soul and are positive things that I contribute to this world.  Yet, there are still times where I fear that all my endeavors may be for naught.
I have also had unusually high day job stresses this past year.
I also know that there are things I can do, and could be doing more, to help relieve the anxiety and stress that is part of creating and living life.  Sometimes I do those things, such as get plenty of sleep, eat well and exercise.  Yet, if I get into a loop of being tired, not exercising regularly and I stress eat on top of it, then the cycle becomes quite vicious and I feel less healthy and unable to cope with the pressures.  This pattern has been going on for several months now and went seeking some new inspiration.  I found some in a book written by an author who has done extensive writing on the subject of creativity,
artistanxiety2
In the book Mastering Creative Anxiety: 24 Lessons for Writers, Painters, Musicians and Actors from America’s Foremost Creative Coach, author Eric Maisle, PhD shares insight from his many years as a psychotherapist and creative coach to tackle the subject of creative anxiety.  Maisle begins right in the introduction by asking a series of questions.
Are you creating less often than you would like?
Are you avoiding your creative work altogether?
Do you procrastinate?
Do you resist getting to your work or marketing your work?
Do you have trouble deciding which creative project to tackle?
Do you find completing work hard?
He then shares that anxiety may be the culprit.  He writes “Anxiety regularly stops creative people in their tracks and makes their experience of creating more painful than pleasurable.  It stops would-be creative people entirely, preventing them from realizing their dreams.  Anxiety is the number one problem that creative people face –and yet few even realize it.”  Fortunately Maisle wrote his book with the intention of offering anxiety management techniques and strategies to help readers learn to manage their anxiety skillfully and realistically.
The book includes 24 chapters focused on different types of anxiety that may affect the creative person and process.  Here is the comprehensive list of topics:
The Anxiety of…
Creating and Not Creating
Mattering and Not Mattering
Identity
Individuality
Choosing the Creative Life
Surviving
Day Jobs
Choosing
Compromising
Possibility
Working
Thinking
Ruining
Failing
Completing
Attaching and Caring
Ego Bruising
Performing
Selling
Promoting
Procrastinating
Waiting
Repeating
Success
Let me begin by sharing some excerpts from Chapter 1 – The Anxiety of Creating and Not Creating.
“Anxiety is part of the human condition.  and it is a much larger part than most people realize.  A great deal of what we do in life we do to reduct our experience of anxiety or to avoid anxiety altogether.  Our very human defensiveness is one of the primary ways that we avoid experiencing anxiety.  If something is about to make us anxious we deny it that it is happening, make ourselves sick so that we can concentrate on our sickness, get angry at our mate so as to have something else to focus on, and so on.  We are very tricky creatures in this regard.
We are also very wonderful creatures who have it in us to create.  Creativity is the word we use for our desire to make use of our inner resources, employ our imagination, knit together our thoughts and feelings into beautiful things such as songs, quilts, or novels, and feel like the hero of our own story. It is the way that we make manifest our potential, make us of our intelligence, and embrace what we love.  When we create, we feel whole, useful, and devoted.  Unfortunately, we often feel anxious as we create or contemplate creating.  There are many reasons for this — the subject of our twenty-four lessons.  We get anxious because we fear failing, because we fear disappointing ourselves, because the work can be extremely hard, because the marketplace may criticize us and reject us.  We want to create, but we also don’t want to create so as to spare ourselves all this anxiety.  That is the simple, profound dilemma that millions of people find themselves in.”
Here are some of the author’s initial thoughts on how to deal with creative anxiety:
“To create and to deal with all the anxiety that comes with creating, you must acknowledge and accept that anxiety is part of the process, demand of yourself that you will learn — and really practice! — anxiety management skills so that you can master the anxiety that arises, and get on with your creating and your anxiety management.  It is too tragic not to create if creating is what you long to do, and there is no reason for you not to create if ‘all’ that is standing in the way is your quite human, very ordinary experience of anxiety.  It is time to become an anxiety expert and get on with your creating!”
Eric Maisel then leads into special sections that appear in each chapter called Headline, To Do, Vow, Teaching Tale and Your Anxiety Mastery Menu. In the Headline the author boils the topic down into a concise focus.  That is followed by the To Do in which he gives clear instructions on an action or actions to take.  He then offers a Vowthat the reader can apply with a personal focus.  The next to last section is the Teaching Tale in which a story illustrates the lesson of the chapter. The final section Your Anxiety Master Menu is where the author offers tools and reminders to really enacting changes that are anxiety reducers.
Let us review the Headline, To Do and Vow together for Chapter 1.
Chapter 1 – The Anxiety of Creating and Not Creating
Headline - ”Since both creating and not creating produce anxiety in anyone who wants to create, you might as well embrace the fact that anxiety will accompany you on  your journey as a creative person — whether or not you are getting on with your work.  Just embracing that reality will release a lot of the ambient anxiety that you feel.  Since anxiety accompanies both states — creating and not creating — why not choose creating?”
To Do - ”Pic your next creative project or return to your current one with a new willingness to accept the reality of anxiety.  To help reduce your experience of anxiety, remember to breathe deeply, speak positively to yourself, and affirm that your creative life matters to you.  If some anxiety remains, create anyway!”
Vow - ”I will create, even if doing so provokes anxiety; and when it does, I will manage it through the use of the anxiety management skills and techniques I am learning and practicing.”
anxiety-image
The author Eric Maisle, PhD, has truly comprehensively covered the topic of creative anxiety in this book.  Here are some more insightful excerpts for you, along with some of his recommendations for handling the anxiety provoking situation.
Chapter 2 – The Anxiety of Mattering and Not Mattering
“The biggest challenge facing a creative person is keeping the belief firmly in place that what she is attempting matters to her.  A creative person’s main challenge is therefore existential; she easily loses the sense that what she is doing matters, given how hard it is to do the work well, how difficult the marketplace feels, and all the rest.”
Headline – “Anxiety arises in us when we fear that our efforts do not matter, and it arises in us when we do the creative work that matters to us.  Since anxiety will arise in either case, decide to do the work that matters to you, even if doing so provokes anxiety.”
To Do - “Opt to matter.  This is a decision, not a given! Decide to be the hero of your own story and to prove the exception by doing your creative work, despite your doubts, anxieties, and life’s difficulties.  Plan for your creative work, schedule your creative work into your daily routine (preferable first thing each morning), and do it despite your doubts about you, the marketplace, and the universe.”
Vow – “I matter, and my creative efforts matter.”
Chapter 3 – The Anxiety of Individuality
“Creativity is an expression of individuality, an expression of a person’s desire to manifest her potential, to speak in her own voice, to have her own opinions, and to do her own work.  What distinguishes the creative person from other people is her felt sense of individuality.  Many people are born conventional and find it easy to follow the crowd; only some people are born with a strong desire to assert their individuality.”
Headline – “When your sense of who you are does not match your sense of who you ought to be, you experience anxiety.  Become the person you long to see in the mirror, and match your reality to your vision of your authentic self.”
To Do – “Actively become your best version of yourself by working on your personality.  Begin by identifying the traits and qualities you want to shed and the traits and qualities you want to nurture.  Choose one from each list, and make a plan for eliminating the one and increasing the other.”
Vow – “I will strip away all the personality bits that are not me, add the traits that I need, and create and stand behind my authentic self.”
Chapter 7 – The Anxiety of Day Jobs
“A day job is a job whose primary meaning — or only meaning — is that it allows you to survive while you work on your are and your art career.  Some day jobs are satisfying in their own right, some are completely unsatisfying, some are more like second careers with their own perks and their own success ladder, and some are simple dead-end positions that go nowhere and aren’t meant to go anywhere.  What they all have in common, to lesser but often to greater degrees, is that they provoke their own special anxieties.
job anxietyFirst of all, they are jobs, with all the pressures that jobs entail…Second there is the worry — the anxiety — that you will have to work day jobs for a much longer time than you ever imagined, maybe forever.  You are banking on your creative efforts paying off, and the more it looks like you won’t be able to live on those creative efforts, the more the specter of day jobs remaining a central time-wasting, spirit-killing, mind-numbing part of your life grow.  It is one thing to work a day job at age twenty-four while you write your first screenplay.  It is quite another to work a day job at age forty-four as you struggle to fine the wherewithal to write your tenth screenplay after the first nine haven’t sold.  Day job anxiety are inextricably connected.  Your first day job will feel like a lark.  Will your twentieth?”
Headline - “Day jobs come with their own set of anxieties, from mean bosses to the experience of time being wasted.  Get ready.
To Do – “Think through the following interrelated three-part conundrum: 1) Should I work a day job and do any art I like, even art I know is unlikely to sell, hoping against hope that what I create will in fact be wanted? 2) Should I work a day job but do art that I think is likely to sell, so as to increase my chances of one day being able to give up my day job? 3) Should I choose a second career rather than a string of day jobs?  What are the pluses and minuses of each choice?”
Vow – “I will do my best to make sense of the role that day jobs play in my life — and if they must have a place, then I will effectively manage the anxiety that they invariable provoke.”
Chapter 11 – The Anxiety of Working
“Many different anxieties arise as we tackle our work.  The three main reasons that we experience so much anxiety as we do our creative work are 1) that our self-talk tend to let us down rather than support us, providing us with anxious-making ideas such as ‘I ca’t possibly pull this off’ or ‘I have not idea what I’m doing’; 2) that we doubt the quality of our work as we measure it against the very high standards of the art we love and as we strive to make it excellent; and 3) that the very nature of the creative process causes our work to morph before out eyes and comes with no guarantees whatsoever.  Our self-talk, our desire for excellence, and the process itself all make us anxious.”
Headline – “Creating makes us anxious.  There are countless reasons for this, so many reasons that if we laid them all out they would stretch from wherever you find yourself to the door of your studio.  Open that door anyway.”
To Do – Do you creative work, even if doing it makes you anxious.  Do not avoid it; do not talk yourself out of it; do not desire the process to be different from what it is.  Do the work directly in front of you; the work you want and ought to do.”
Vow – “I will do my creative work and forthrightly deal with any anxiety that arises.”
Chapter 14 – The Anxiety of Failing
“What fears are actually involved?  That you will be proven to have insufficient talent, that you will learn that you can’t trust your instincts and your choices, that you will be forced to live that other ‘real job’ life, and that your heart will be broken as your dreams go up in smoke.  No wonder you get anxious at the prospect of a project failing, and by extrapolation and implication, your entire creative life failing!”
Headline - “We hate failing, and our first line of defense against failing is not trying.  Do not go this route.  Rather, do your creative work and refuse to label any of your honest efforts as failures.”
To Do – “Really spend time with the cognitive idea of reframing.  You want to have a serious discussion with yourself about how to reframe the concept of failure so that the possibility of failure is either eliminated or at the very least greatly reduced.  This is not a linguistic game but you learning for yourself that, through lack of self-friendliness, you have misnamed certain events and called them failures when they were not.”
Vow – “I will do my work and not worry about failing.  In fact, I think I may just banish the word failure from my vocabulary.”
performance-anxietyChapter 18 – The Anxiety of Performing
“Performance — which includes the act of coming to the blank page or the blank canvas, as well as standing up in front of an audience — is a classic anxiety producer.  It is so potent an anxiety producer because it consists of a great many different fears: the fear of being seen as flawed, the fear of criticism, the fear of disappointing people, the fear of being in power, the fear of embarrassment and humiliation, the fear of imperfection, the fear of loss of control, and even more dramatic fears like the fear of loss of love and approval and the fear of annihilation.  Performance anxiety is made up of such a long list of fears that it is no wonder so many people dread performing.”
Headline – “Performance anxiety, because it is made up of so many pressing fears, afflicts almost everyone.  You can probably only avoid it by not performing: by not writing, by not painting, by not networking, by not getting up onstage.  Your best bet is to accept that it is coming and to prepare yourself.”
To Do – “Make sure you have at least one or two anxiety management techniques in place to deal with performance anxiety.  Two of the best in this regard are discharge techniques (such as silently screaming) and reorienting techniques (in which you move your attention away from the performance).  Choose your techniques, practice them, and make sure they work by using them in performance situations.”
Vow – “I will perform, even though performing makes me anxious.”
Chapter 19 – The Anxiety of Selling
“This selling provokes anxiety.  One way to deal with this anxiety is simply not to enter the fray.  This might sound like ‘I paint for myself’ or ‘I’ll find someone else to do the selling’ or ‘I don’t care who reads my writing — I do it for the process.’  Some people do indeed create for themselves and do not need to enter the fray.  But many people who say that they are creating only for themselves say that because the marketplace seems too daunting and anxiety provoking.  You will have to decide what is true for you: if you decided not to enter the marketplace with your wares, is that because you are truly creating for yourself or because the marketplace feels too complex, hostile, and frightening?”
Headline – “Most creative people find that selling provokes anxiety.  If you are in this large category, opt for dealing with the anxiety rather than avoiding the marketplace.”
To Do – “Go over your anxiety mastery menu and think through how each of the strategies might work in the context of reducing your selling anxiety.  If one of two stand out as possibilities, practice them and begin to use them in your marketplace dealings.”
Vow – “If I intend to have a career in the arts, I will not let anxiety stop me from marketing energetically.”
Chapter 20 – The Anxiety of Promoting
“Life is indeed Darwinian.  You may not personally feel that you are competing with another creative person, and in fact you may feel nothing but kinship for your brother and sister creators.  But you and your creative products are nevertheless competing with every other creative person’s wares for the attention of buyers and for a foot in the marketplace.  You know in your heart that self-promotion and product promotion are probably more important ingredients in the success of a song, novel, painting, or play that the quality of the product.  This thought may sadden or anger you — but feeling upset won’t make this reality go away.”
Headline – “Promotional tasks such as being interviewed, speaking in front of audiences, and making pitches to potential partners make most people anxious.  Get ready for these tasks and get ready for the accompanying anxiety.”
To Do – Picture yourself promoting yourself and your creative products.  What do you see yourself doing?  If you can’t get a clear picture, presume that anxiety is getting in the way.  Use one of your anxiety-management tools to calm yourself, and then try again to visualize promoting yourself and your creative products.  Continue with this exercise until you have a clear, distinct vision of you promoting.”
Vow – “I will promote what I create.  That is how I advocate for me work and have a career.  If some anxiety accompanies my promotion efforts, I will deal with it.”
Chapter 22 – The Anxiety of Waiting
“Creative people wait.  We wait as we put our wares into the marketplace and wait for a literary agent, club owner, or gallery own to say yes.  We wait as a project incubates — even as we are working on this story, we know that we are really waiting on that story, the one we truly want to write but that isn’t available to us yet.  Even as we work to get it, we wait for our next acting opportunity, our next screenwriting opportunity, the next chance to get our symphony heart, the next chance to get our performance piece performed, the next change to get our installation installed.  We are active, busy, maybe too busy — and also waiting, waiting, waiting.”
Headline – “Waiting is surprisingly taxing and produces more anxiety that you might imagine.  Remember to keep busy, get a grip on your mind, and deal with the anxiety that remains.”
To Do – “Sit down and describe for yourself what tactics you will use whenever you find yourself waiting, whether for a job opportunity, a response from a marketplace player, or an idea to arrive.  List the different sorts of waiting you will have to endure, what you will do in each case, and what anxiety-management tool you will employ in case anxiety wells up as you wait.”
Vow - “I acknowledge the reality that waiting is a regular feature of the creative process and the creative life, and I will learn ways to make waiting less oppressive and nerve-racking.”
What are your thoughts and experiences with creative anxiety?
Are there any in particular that are more potent than others?
Have you developed skills and techniques to deal with anxiety in your life?
If the topic of creative anxiety is one you wish to explore further I recommend getting your own copy of the bookMastering Creative Anxiety.  This post has shared just a small amount of the valuable ideas and techniques that the author covers. 
Eric_MaiselAbout the author -
“Eric Maisel, PhD, is the author of over forty book and widely regarded as American’s foremost creativity coach.  He trains creativity coaches nationally and internationally and provides core training for the Creativity Coaching Association.  Eric is a columnist for Art Calendarmagazine and is currently building the fields of meaning coaching and existential cognitive-behavioral therapy (ECBT). His books includeCoaching the Artist Within, Creative Recovery, Fearless Creating, The Van Gogh Blues, and a score of others.  He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with his family.”
His website is www.ericmaisel.com

Monday, January 6, 2014

Mojo Monday ~ What's the Word?

Resolution postcards from 1915
Early 20th-century New Year's resolution postcards
A new year can feel like it offers up fresh starts, new beginnings, and opportunities to do things differently. I found myself wondering how long the tradition of proclaiming resolutions has been around.  I did a little reading and found that Wikipedia had some interesting notes about the topic.  "A New Year's resolution is a secular tradition, most common in the Western Hemisphere but also found in the Eastern Hemisphere, in which a person makes a promise to do an act of self-improvement or something slightly nice, such as opening doors for people beginning from New Year's Day."
While resolutions may appear to be a secular concept Wikipedia also offered some of the religious origins of this practice.  "The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts.  The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named.  In the Medieval era, the knights took the "peacock vow" at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry. At watchnight services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions. There are other religious parallels to this tradition. During Judaism's New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), one is to reflect upon one's wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness. People may act similarly during the Catholic fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility, in fact the practice of New Year's resolutions partially came from the Lenten sacrifices.  The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually."
Calvin and Hobbes
This year I have noted many people, in lieu of sharing resolutions focused on improving oneself, (ie one of the common ones involves joining a gym, working out 7 days a week and losing weight) are instead choosing resolutions regarding doing things that makes one happier.  Part of this shift is a movement away from the guilt that accompanies not following through on resolutions and they might be onto something.  According to a "2007 study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting (a system where small measurable goals are being set; such as, a pound a week, instead of saying 'lose weight'), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends."
1544505_10152179168470992_1761420284_nI have also noted a lot more people sharing how they have chosen a word for the year.  Artist Kelly Rae Roberts has shared that her word for 2014 is trust.  She shared this on Facebook: "My word for 2014 is trust. I'm gonna practice trusting my little heart out. Trust in others. Trust in new beginnings. Trust my voice. Trust the leaps, the falls, and the timing of it all. I can tell that 2014 is gonna be epic."
Artist Pixie Campbell also wrote about selecting a word for each year on her blog.  Her word this year is Mother and I encourage you to go visit her site and read more about this choice.
What is your word for this year? (I'll share mine later.)
A great post to read about finding closure for 2013 as you embark upon 2014 is also by Kelly Rae Roberts.  Pop on over to this blog post of hers and enjoy her always insightful musings.  Here are the key questions she addresses to close out her year:
1. What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2013? (What did you create? What challenges did you face with courage and strength? What promises did you keep to yourself? What brave choices did you make? What are you proud of?)  
2. What is there to grieve about 2013? (What was disappointing? What was scary? What was hard? What can you forgive yourself for?) 
3. What else do you need to say about the year to declare it complete? The next step is to say out loud, "I declare 2013 complete!" How do you feel? If you don't feel quite right, there might be one more thing to say...
My hubby and I have a tradition for New Years Eve that involves us reading a letter we wrote for one another the year before.  We also do two inspirational card readings.  The first is with the Lakota Sweat Lodge cards that my husband has owned for many years.  We then select from one of my decks of cards and do a second reading.  This year we used a new deck called The Enchanted Map.  We record our readings in the same journal each year that is reserved for this annual ritual.  Here some photos showing two of the readings.
Lakota Sweat Lodge Cards
Lakota Sweat Lodge Cards
Enchanted Map Cards
Enchanted Map Cards
I haven't really ever selected a word as part of my new year ceremony.  This year however after reading the first posting by Rob Brezsny my word came to me. The recommendation for me was as follows: "Deep bronzes and smoky cinnamons and dark chocolates will be your lucky colors in 2014. Mellow mahoganies and resonant russets will work well for you, too. They will all be part of life's conspiracy to get you to slow down, deepen your perspective, and slip into the sweetest groove ever. In this spirit, I urge you to nestle and cuddle and caress more than usual in the coming months. If you aren't totally clear on where home is, either in the external world or inside your heart, devote yourself to finding it. Hone your emotional intelligence. Explore your roots. On a regular basis, remember your reasons for loving life. Stay in close touch with the sources that feed your wild soul."   (If you want to read yours click here.)
My word, as it came to me in that forecast, is Groove.  The meaning for me has to do with release, flow, easing into, relaxing, movement, sensuality, letting go and breathing.  Here is my creative expression with my word so that I can hang it up as a reminder through the year.
Groove by Michelle Fairchild
Groove by Michelle Fairchild
How does your word translate into art?  
Could you dance it, sing it, write poetry about it, paint it, sculpt it, photograph it or plant it?