Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Mojo Monday ~ What Every Salmon Knows

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Photo by Michelle Fairchild - Battlecreek 10/22/14
What people have forgotten
is what every salmon knows.
~ Robert Clark

This past week I used a vacation day so that I could be a parent chaperone for a field trip for my twin daughters 3rd grade class.  It turned out to be a rainy day, but seeing as how we desperately need the rain here in California there weren't too many grumblings.  Instead we wore hats, jackets and carried umbrellas.  The first portion of our outing was to the Coleman National Fish Hatchery. The hatchery was established in 1942 to help curb the loss of natural salmon.  Our guide was soft spoken Jack Blanke who had many interesting facts and figures to share with us during our tour through the hatchery and the two mile nature hike that followed along Battle Creek.

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Photo by Michelle Fairchild ~ Coleman National Fish Hatchery

We observed the Chinook Salmon, as well as Steelhead Trout in the various holding tanks.  The fish start out as tiny eggs and are fed and cared for until they are released.  While they are young they have their adipose fin clipped and a wire clip is embedded into their nose.  When such fish return to the hatchery years later they can be identified and it will provide biologists with useful information.

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Photo by Michelle Fairchild ~ Spawning room Coleman National Fish Hatchery
An unexpected part of the tour for myself and my daughters was the spawning room.  Male and female salmon die naturally after they lay their eggs.  The fish actually quit eating during their journey to the spawning pools and their bodies absorb their own intestines to survive.  At the hatchery they speed up and mechanize the fertilization process.  The process begins with an elevator full of water and fish rising up so that staff can more easily grab them.  One of the workers then jams the fishes heads into a box with an automated hammer, that is intended to kill them quickly. A number of the fish do not die from the hammer and instead have to be beaten over the head with a club.  All of this took place while we watched.  It was after they were "dead" that a pair of workers would pick up both a female and a male fish and essentially force out the females eggs and the males milt.  One worker injects the female fish with a device that blows air into her, forcing her eggs to come flowing out, while the another worker presses on the male to eject his milt.  The eggs and milt mix in the tub.  The dead fish were then dropped down chutes, and then routed to a refrigerated trailer sitting outside the building, which would later be transported to a processing plant. The meat is primarily distributed to food banks and prisons.  Local Native American tribes in the area also have rights to put in requests to transport whole fish from the hatchery free of cost.

I personally was relieved to leave the spawning room.  As a person who gave up eating meat and adopted a vegan diet six years ago, seeing animals, even fish killed, was not a pleasant experience.  My daughter Maya was especially sensitive to it too and her teacher tried to explain that the fish would have died anyways.  That sound reasonable, though iI kept thinking about the difference between laying ones eggs and dying peacefully in a river or being killed by a slam to the head with a hammer or a club.  I tried to make some peace with it by looking at the bigger picture and how the hatchery is responsible for hatching over 13 million fish, and in doing so helps to ensure the populations of salmon and steelhead continue to thrive.

If I haven't bored you to tears with the account of the salmon tour and you are still bravely reading on I want to share with you an essay from The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo.  Not having read from this book in awhile I opened it and flipped to the latter dates of October.  I have to wonder if it is synchronicity or coincidence that is just so happens his essay for October 30th called The Art of Facing Things is about salmon.  Maybe this particular essay wouldn't have caught my attention if not for the recent outing, but I decided there might be a message in it that I should take note of more closely and I wanted to share it with you.  

"Salmon have much to teach us about the art of facing things.  In swimming up waterfalls, these remarkable creatures seem to defy gravity.  It is an amazing thing to behold.  A closer look reveals a wisdom for all beings who want to thrive.
What the salmon somehow know is how to turn their underside-from center to tail-into the powerful current coming at them, which hits them squarely, and the impact then launches them out and further up the waterfall; to which their reaction is, again, to turn their underside back into the powerful current that, of course, again hits them squarely; and this successive impact launches them further out and up the waterfall.  Their leaning into what they face bounces them further and further along their unlikely journey.

From a distance, it seems magical, as if these might fish are flying, conquering their element.  In actuality, they are deeply at one with their element, vibrantly and thoroughly engaged in a compelling dance of turning-toward-and-being-hit-squarely that moves them through water and air to the very source of their nature.

In terms useful to the life of the spirit, the salmon are constantly faithful in exposing their underside to the current coming at them.  Mysteriously, it is the physics of this courage that enable them to move through life as they know it so directly.  We can learn from this very active paradox; for we, too, must be as faithful to living in the open if we are to stay real in the face of our daily experience.  In order not to be swept away by what the days bring, we, too, must find a way to lean into the forces that hit us so squarely.

The salmon offer us a way to face truth without shutting down.  They show us how leaning into our experience, though we don't like the hit, moves us on.  Time and again, though we'd rather turn away, it is the impact of being revealed, through our willingness to be vulnerable, that enable us to experience both mystery and grace."
  • Sit quietly and meditate on the last time you opened yourself to the life coming at you.
  • In recalling this, try to focus on three things; the way that opening yourself caused you to unfold, they way that being hit squarely changed your life position, and where leaping like a salmon landed you.
  • Breathe steadily, and invite the lessons of opening, being changes, and landing into your heart.
  • Breathe slowly, and realize that you are in this process now.
  • Relax and turn the belly of your heart toward the day.

Here is a brief video of the salmon attempting to jump and vault a controlled waterfall.  You can excitedly hear children cheering on the salmon as the launch themselves.  We kept hoping one would make it.  What we finally learned is that at this time of year the volume of water is increased to such a level that the salmon will never make it to the upper level.  This forces them to look for an alternate route, which happens to be a man-made fish ladder that directs them into the hatchery pools.  During the non-spawning season the water flow is reduced and fish can then naturally swim up and 
down stream.

I also ponder some additional questions and ask them of you too.

Is there anything that you are avoiding or not willing to face?

When things are difficult and challenging how do you handle them?

Do you think your methods and ways of dealing (or not dealing)
with challenges are healthy for you
or could you benefit from learning some new coping skills?



Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Naked Vulnerability

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Come read my latest article called
Naked Vulnerabilityin Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.


I sat in the creek, sweet water gurgling and caressing my naked body.  I gazed at the greenery, the light reflecting off the water, and felt the very chilly water pour over my thighs, while the gentle breath of warm air on my face and shoulders offered a stark contrast.  Under the canopy of tall trees and dappled sunlight it was easy to feel small, but in a good way, in the way you feel awe struck and full of wonder about the breathtaking beauty of our planet.  Nature often has that effect on me, but to experience being completely naked and so remarkably peaceful as I listened to the natural sounds of birds and the water, was spiritually soothing and uplifting. Harmonizing with the rustling of leaves and the babbling water flowed the spoken word of a sacred water dedication,

Water Spirits know this child as your sister…
Give her the ability to flow in life’s stream…
Great Spirit, this child is of the people…
guide her to always walk in beauty
.”

Come read the entire article over at Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine.
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Dos Aguas photo by Michelle Fairchild

Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Can You See Me?

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Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called

Can You See Me

One of the more powerful and moving experiences of my life was at a Cosmic Cowgirl member conference two years ago.  One of our leading members, Carmen Baraka, led us through a beautiful ceremony that involved each of us standing face-to-face with another member, while holding hands and gazing into one another eyes.  The words we then spoke from the heart were “I see you.  You are my sister.”   We then moved down a person and repeated the same actions and words. There was a great deal of emotion in the eyes and voices of each woman, some who may have only met for the first time that weekend.  Yet,  for me in that moment, I felt like we were really seeing past all the exterior masks, that the veils had been lifted, and we were seeing into the very souls of one another.  I felt deeply moved by the experience and wished for all of humanity to connect in that soul to soul way, as it was healing and inspirational.
Click this link Can You See Me or the one above to visit Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine to read the full article.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Tears of Transformation

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Today in Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine
is my latest article called

Tears of Transformation

Walks Tall Woman felt the tears of transformation run like slow moving, lazy rivers down her cheeks. The truth had taken root in her heart and the impregnated seed of change had been planted in her womb. It would gestate until it was time in the future for the Clan Mother to give birth to her new, more vulnerable self. She quietly sat and reflected on the words Mountain Lion had spoken before she asked a question. ‘How can I be an example to other women, Mountain Lion, when I have to learn these lessons for myself?’
Click this link Tears of Transformation or the one above to visit Cosmic Cowgirls Magazine to read the full article.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Mojo Monday ~ In Your Own Skin Project

What word or phrase would be
absolutely true about you;
but not obvious to strangers?


With her camera, body paint, and the quest to explore how people choose to show themselves to the world, Katheryn Trenshaw—photographer, documentarian, and artist— approaches total strangers and asks: What is true of you that is not obvious to strangers?
After conferring with Katheryn and consulting with their hearts, those who agree to participate choose a word (or phrase) that reveals something about themselves that is unknown to others. Katheryn then paints the word on the skin of the person and photographs them. The result is as moving as it is unexpected.
Her background in art, psychology, and language allows her to connect with her subjects on a variety of levels. This multi-layered perspective comes through to the viewers of her moving photographs. Over the past year, Katheryn has created nearly 150 portraits of subjects from more than thirty countries and all walks of life. Each photograph documents a personal story.

Katheryn Trenshaw shares this about the In Your Own Skin Project:
"Some years ago during a silent retreat I had an epiphany. I realized that the greatest treasure I hold is buried deep inside the thing I least want anyone to know about. Within this wound inside of me lay a rich treasure trove. I was a living paradox and the sooner I could learn to dance with this, the sooner I could unabashedly share my gifts.
I have been inspired by the work of many, especially Brené Brown. She comes from a social work research background and began wanting to know more about what makes us happy. She teamed up with neurobiologists and other researchers and basically discovered that if you want to look at happiness you need to look at shame. Happiness is directly linked with reducing shame, and this takes us to vulnerability, authenticity and ultimately to resilience in transition / changing times.
As an artist, I have specialized all of my professional life in the masks we wear, and am passionate about ritualistic mark making on skin and bodies. Breaking the Silence was a body or work I created consisting of 100 masks that toured the United States and Europe for over 15 years. It was all about revealing our true nature and looking at what we conceal and has had a huge influence on my subsequent work, life and respect for peoples traditions throughout the World.
I've always been fascinated with “shadow” material, the taboo that no one wants to speak about. I tend toward, what Robert Bly calls “our shadow bags”: Sex, death, money, and power. These more hidden aspects of ourselves hold great treasures and vitality when they are freed.
These elements combine to create what is now the In Your Own Skin project: A community multimedia art project, connecting us all by revealing hidden truths from around the world. With your participation we can create the powerful 1st documentary short to share the normally hidden wealth of wisdom that unites us all. And I have to say that I haven't been so passionate about anything since the birth of my son."

The overall project as described by Katheryn:

This In Your Own Skin documentary short is about nothing short of unlocking human potential and joy. I’ve seen the potential for human beings to share in such a powerful openhearted way. The further I go into this project, the more I trust our deep intelligence. I experience people being genuinely authentic. We are living differently now in these challenging times. We are living more and more in community and in ways that we really support each other.


Projects like this one and the others I have created ( like my Breaking the Silence Project) show that love always trumps fear.
I am passionate about this project! I love every minute of this mad and wonderful process: creating these ways to reveal and share our hidden stories with each other. I love how this process can weave into the every day aspects of my life, parenting, community and travels. I recently was reminded of the obvious… that the meaning of life is to find your gift and the purpose of life is to give that gift. Each of the In Your Own Skin portraits gives a gift and reveals a part of each of us. Now that is worth getting up for in the morning! I am so very grateful.


To learn more about the In Your Own Skin ProjectYou can visit the following web sites:

Kick Starter Fund Raising site -

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1456356865/in-your-own-skin-project

Facebook Page -
https://www.facebook.com/pages/In-Your-Own-Skin-Project/177799442314881



Saturday, February 4, 2012

Mojo Monday ~ Breaking Patterns




Many who find themselves drawn to the Cosmic Cowgirl tribe of women would probably shake their heads knowingly if I was to say that becoming a Cosmic Cowgirl tends to shift things in one’s life.   I have heard stories from various Cowgirls about the changes that occurred after becoming a member and taking courses, some of them huge, such as moving to a different state or country, leaving a dead end relationship, quitting jobs or retiring in order to pursue an artist life. 

The common thread I have pulled from their many stories is the courage and the bravery each of these women finally found deep in their souls to find their voice, pursue their dreams, to claim who they are and what they really want in life.  Sometimes the journey is not smooth or easy.  Change may challenge not only those taking action, but also those close to them as well.  Sometimes family and friends look on bewildered.  Sometimes they are fearful of the change.  Sometimes those who love us the best are not the most supportive traveling partners. 

If all goes well everyone adjusts.  If all goes well, when the chaos settles down, all those ties that bind will be strong and intact.

Here are some thoughtful words of wisdom about this very subject from author Mark Nepo in The Book of Awakening.

Breaking Patterns
 
If I contradict myself, I contradict myself.  I contain multitudes. ~ Walt Whitman

“We create patterns that others depend on, and then the last thing we ever imagined happens; we grow and then to stay vital we must break the patterns we created.
There is no blame or fault in this.  It is commonplace in nature.  Watch the ocean and shore do their dance of buildup and crumble and you’ll see this happen daily.
We know we are close to this threshold when we hear someone say, ‘You’re not yourself,’ or ‘That was out of character for you.’  What is difficult at this juncture is to resist either complying with how others see us or withholding who we really are.

The challenge, which I don’t do well but stay committed to, is to say to those we love, ‘I am more than I have shown you and more than you are willing to see.  Let’s work our love and know each other more fully.”
  • This is an awareness meditation.  As you move through your interactions today, notice whether you arecomplying with how others see you or withholding who you are.
  •  After each interaction, simply breathe slowly once or twice and return to the fullness of who you are.

The reality is that things don’t always turn out as we think or hope they will.  Sometimes relationships do not survive change and growth.  Life continues on though.  Hopefully one finds peace in one’s heart for those things that may feel unresolved.  Forgiveness for one’s self is paramount and ideally forgiveness for others follows.  There is also a jewel of advice again from Mark Nepo in The Book of Awakening regarding the role of compassion.

Feeling Beyond the Hurt

Withstanding the tension between opposites until we know it is ‘enough’ releases us from the swing between one extreme and the other. ~ Helen Luke

“Sometimes, when I think of my parents, who have hurt me, I am lulled by a wintering sky to feel for them, to try on their view, but in my empathy an old pattern kicks in and I start to lose the truth of my hurt, as if there’s only room of one set of feelings – theirs.
The struggle is a common one.  So often we feel for others and lose ourselves, or cut others off to preserve ourselves.  Like a radio that can only tune to one station at a time, it seems like only one side of things can be received, though all sides are broadcast.
But compassion is a deeper thing that waits beyond the tension of choosing sides.  Compassion, in practice, does not require us to give up the truth of what we feel or the truth of our reality.  Nor does it allow us to minimize the humanity of those who hurt us.  Rather, we are asked to know ourselves enough that we can stay open to the truth of others, even when their truth or their inability to live up to their truth has hurt us.
This does now remove the emotional facts of our lives, nor does it ask us to remain in a hurtful situation.  Rather, compassion asks that we open like mountains to the sky, like mountains that can withstand every kind of weather.”



  • Sit quietly and bring to mind someone you are at odds with.
  • Breathe deeply and allow the truth of your feelings, not just the truth of your position, to rise.
  • Breathe evenly and allow the other person’s feelings, not just their position to rise.
  • Let your breathing ease and tension in you that either undermines yourself or undermines this other.

What are your experiences with change and growth?

Has it had any impact on your relationships?

Have you ever complied or withheld your true self from others?


How have you held true to yourself?